I can tell you’re tense…

Back rubs and hugs are free

Many of you out there right now are feeling the end of the week squeeze. You’re stressing to get those things you were supposed to do (while you were wasting time here), done. 

“Simple Answer Crib Keeper, I’ll just stop noodling around here today and get caught up.”


Unacceptable: the SUPPORT and SERVICE I provide (free of charge) to you, IS keeping your precious spark of life and brain waves GOING! I AM KEEPING YOU ALIVE(!)  I don’t need you to thank me, matter of fact…meet Chad.

Chad’s here to help massage away the stress…you can still do that thing, just let Chad do his thing. Let his imaginary, but sweaty, palms rub all of your shoulder tension away. Yeah, that’s it, release that tension. Can you feel his calming touch? Chad’s cold, moist, lingering palms sticking to your skin? The good news- it doesn’t matter  how many layers of clothing you put on…Chad will be able to touch and massage you whenever you so much as think of him and his invisible hands of magic that MELT away stress. Chad is sending you his positive, healing vibes always. Why he’s doing it right now. Touching and lingering, lingering and touching, SWEATY PALMS. Just the two of you…

See that? Chad and I made you forget ALL about that thing(!) you need to do(!) STRESS GONE! You don’t have to thank me.

Chad however, needs you to pay his bail. (He’s under arrest, for stealing your heart.) CROWD BOOS.


I can tell you’re tense… — 2 Comments

  1. Hmmmmm. His chest hair against your back, the hint of brute as his mullet brushes past your ear.
    Two can play this game. (bowties are cool)

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