The Voice hasn’t lost it…(yet)

CEE-LO! (and some other stars.)

It’s amazing how little television I watch these days. Pre-Angry Baby, yours truly enjoyed a nasty weakness for trash TV. It deteriorated to a point that my DVR was there to capture every skank to crawl out of the primordial soup of reality television for several years (don’t judge!)

These busy days, I have to be mighty choosy about what I watch, one of the shows that made the cut is NBC’s The Voice. Because I have a mere sliver of the slug-a-bed time I used to, I’m behind on it (yeah I KNOW it only has had two episodes so far!) Last night I decided to “catch up” and watch the second blind audition round that aired Tuesday. After two shows, I’m still entertained, so it lives to record another week on my DVR.

I picked up on a  few things about the show that are finna annoy me.  I’m not turning it OFF, but these things don’t turn me ON (crowd groans.) If you aren’t watching The Voice, my apologies. Feel free to scroll another post, I suggest you re-watch the “Adult Infant” Stanley in action.

Everyone else: I assume you are fellow watchers, so I’m NOT going to practice good writing by setting up and recapping the premise/how the show works. My apologies if you stuck around and the following seems confusing.

♥ Cee-Lo is the most talented, creative and hooked-up person on the whole shootin’ match. People are “Crazy” (cheap reference and it stays) for not picking him as a coach each and every time.

↓ Adam Levine is a horner-inner. He doesn’t choose folks until SOMEONE ELSE pushes, then a split second later he horns right in with a press of his button. Actually, there was ONE instance where he pushed his button first, he thought a 250 lb, 6ft dude was a lady. Once he realized his mistake (and no one else picked the guy,) he spent the entire critique time telling him dude sang like a lady. All other times we was Johnny-on-someone else’s spot. Snooze.

↓ Christina only will vote for someone if they do vocal gymnastics. I’m not kidding, every time she presses her button it’s when a contestant breaks out into elaborate X-tina-esque “embellishments.” Thing is, Christina is the only person who can pull off that kind of foolery.

↔ I want no part of Blake’s ‘Hillbilly Bone,’ he can just stay engaged to Corn-Fed Kristen Chenoweth, and leave me be for all I care. ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Carson Daily…Oh Carson. Homeboy used to look GOOOOD (in 1999) he looked so good I didn’t even mind that he looked better in black nail polish than I did.  Real Talk: he used to make me dream of pink heart clouds and castles made of love. I used to dream he would do a ‘TRL takes over your school’ episode, discover my mesmerizing beauty, swear off all other women and let me build his FUTURE MEDIA EMPIRE! This man was supposed to be THE NEXT DICK CLARK(!) What did NBC DO TO HIM?! They hired him away from MTV, stuck him on an obscure show for years, and now he’s back as a hollowed out husk of his former self…I just can’t take talking about this anymore, it’s become too painful and I’ve shared too much.

Actually now that I think of it all I do like on the show is Cee-Lo (and the singers.)


The Voice hasn’t lost it…(yet) — 3 Comments

  1. I do, you didn’t (it ISN’T A FUNNY if I have to tell you it is!) Kristen Chen is a super skinny twin of miranda…the city mouse to her country mouse. She’s a plucky broadway star…Miranda is a plucky country star…

    Blake is being veddy boring with his feedback, you can tell he’s not comfortable.

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